Dolores H. Stanton
As the snow falls to the ground for the first time this winter it hits me…a heartbreaking realization that I
have completely failed at my mere existence.
The curse that sits upon my shoulders day in and day out I have caused myself.
I continue to wonder if things will ever change or if they will stay the same?
I know what I want but know not how to get it.
I know that I can’t continue to hurt the way I do but I know not how to heal the pain burrowed so deep
into my soul it is almost imprinted forever.
I know the cause is worse than the devil itself, a concoction of emotion fading liquid penetrating my
soul through the veins.
I have attempted many times to stop this lifelong lust with no success.
I live, eat, sleep, breathe for the rush, while I’m restless, slowly dying after the fix—how can one’s most
important treasures, the loves of my life, my children, my family, not force me to abstain.
The mere memory of emotions forces more devilish fluid thru my veins a rollercoaster of my life?
From within the dark closed walls of my heart, my blackened soul I cry for help-someone, somewhere
to relinquish the pain.